Luke's Memorial Service

January 30, 2015 ~ Delaware Bible Church

The day of Luke's memorial service, I can remember waking up that morning excited.  I was excited to celebrate my boy's life.  I was excited to show our friends and family the pictures of him.  I was excited to share all that the Lord had done.  But, in the midst of that excitement, I was scared.  I was worried that I wouldn't make it through speaking about my son.  How am I going to stand on that stage and share my thoughts and share the letter I had written to Luke?  I didn't think I was strong enough to do that.  But, I knew I would regret it my whole life if I didn't speak about him and all God had done.

This service was planned by Justin and I.  We had no control over all that happened with Luke and the condition he had, but we DID have control over how we honored him that night.  We took a lot of time carefully planning what songs we wanted sung, what Scripture we wanted read, who would speak and what would they talk about, what Justin and I would share, what we wanted the programs to look like, what keepsakes of Luke's would we have sitting out for people to look at, what desserts we wanted served afterwards, etc.  We took great pride in how Luke was honored and more importantly how God was honored.

My brother-in-law Jordan opened the service by welcoming everyone and sharing how Justin and I took on that very stage 7 years prior as we exchanged wedding vows.  Who knew we'd be back a little over 7 years later for our son's memorial service?  We then sang two songs, led by our friend Andy Scott along with Erin Burchwell on piano and Matt Hawley on violin.  We all sang "Rock of Ages" and "Lord, I Need You".  It was beautiful and they did an amazing job.  After the worship time, Jordan spoke.  He spoke of how Luke's life was both effective and affective.  He did so good and I was so proud to call him my brother. A lot of people told us after that they loved what Jordan shared. After that, we had our family read various Scripture passages that we chose.  Ones that had great meaning to us the months leading up to Luke's birth.

After the Scripture reading, our pastor, Lee Davis, spoke.  He did amazing and so many people commented about how good his message was!  When Lee was done, it was Justin and I's turn to share.  I remember my hands being very sweaty as I was nervous to get up in front of all those people.  But I was excited to talk about my boy.  I shared about all God had done as far as answered prayers goes; specific prayers were answered along the way.  I then read a letter I wrote to Luke.  I had moments where I had to stop and compose myself, but for the most part I thought I did well considering the circumstances.  I could feel God carrying me through that moment.  Justin also shared and did an amazing job!  The whole service is recorded if anyone ever wants to listen to everything!

When the service was over, I can't tell you how many people came up to us and told us what an amazing job we did.  How it "was the best memorial service they'd ever been to" and how it was so honoring and glorifying to the Lord.  That's exactly what we wanted.  We wanted people to walk away feeling like they got to know our boy and at the same time they got to know the Lord and love Him more because of Luke's life.  We also prayed that those who didn't know Christ, would walk away from that night a changed person.  We pray, even now, that someone would come to know the Lord because of Luke.  What an awesome thing that would be!

After the service, we had a coffee and dessert reception.  Our dear friend, Brett Fife, who is the executive chef at Lindey's restaurant here in Columbus, made ALL of the desserts for us!  200 brownies and 200 cookies.  The local Starbucks here in Delaware donated ALL of the coffee when they heard about the service.  Nikki at Starbucks spear headed that effort and we were so thankful for that!  Talk about a burden off of our shoulders.  Everything just went so smoothly.

I hope and pray that the Lord doesn't bring us through the loss of another child.  I don't think I could bear it.  But, even though He allowed us to walk through this fire, we can honestly say that He has been most faithful and most good to us.  Ive seen His hand and His loving care for me, us, more than ever.  I've never loved Justin more than I do now.  I've never had to cling to Jesus more than I have in the last year.  God has been near, has been loving, has been kind, has been faithful.  I pray that the pain of losing Luke lessens, but I pray that the fellowship and sweet times with the Lord never ends.

Luke's Burial

January 29, 2015 ~ Cheshire Cemetery

Laying your child to rest.  Probably the most difficult thing I've had to do in my life thus far.  The thought of putting my child in the ground, six feet down to be exact, terrified me.  I didn't want to do it.  I wanted Luke with me.  I didn't want him in the ground.  But, the day was here and there was no turning back.

As the day approached, we kept a close eye on the weather for that day.  It was forecasted to be cold, wet, and rainy.  The type of weather that's very fitting for a graveside service, right?  Even though the forecast was very fitting for how we were feeling, I was earnestly praying that it would change.  That somehow it wouldn't be raining.  That somehow the freezing rain that was supposed to come, wouldn't.  It wasn't looking good, but we have to proceed anyway.

I woke up that morning and it was cold and gray, but the rain was holding off.  The service was scheduled for 11am, and at around 9am, the rain started.  Perfect.  Not only do I have to bury my son today, but I'm going to have to stand in the rain to do it.  I remember specifically praying that the rain would stop.  At least stop long enough so that we could get through the service semi-dry.

As we made our way to the cemetery, it was lightly sprinkling.  Just barely.  When we arrived at the cemetery, the rain stopped.  Not a drop!  I was silently thanking the Lord for this small blessing.  At least we could get through this service without the rain pelting us.

The ceremony began with Justin carrying Luke's casket to the spot where he would be buried.  Justin dreaded the thought of this and didn't know how he'd make it through that moment.  Mike, the funeral director, opened the back of the vehicle that was carrying Luke's casket.  There he was.  Our tiny, little boy, in a small, white casket with a spray of white roses on top of it.  I had never seen a casket so small.  I wanted to badly to rip the lid off of it, pick him up, and take him home.  We walked over to the car and Justin picked up the casket and held it in his arms.  The tears flowed.  We very carefully walked the casket over to the spot and set it down, then took our seats.  Our pastor, Lee, did an amazing job with the graveside message.  He spoke truth and reminded us again that the grave is not the end.  Just as Lee started talking about the glory of God, something amazing happened.  The morning had been cold and rainy, and RIGHT at 11am the sun came out!!  It came out for maybe 2-3 minutes and was not seen again the rest of the day.  It was as if God was telling us all

"I am here with you.  I'm in this place.  Here is a gentle reminder that in the midst of your tears, I am still King and shining light into your broken hearts."  My sister got our her camera and took a picture of the sun shining through the clouds right over us.  We all looked at each other as if to say "Can you believe it?!"  How kind and loving of the Lord to bring the sunshine just as we started the ceremony.

When it was time for Justin and I to leave, I took a white rose from the arrangement on his casket.  I didn't want to just leave Luke there.  I knew he was in heaven, but leaving his physical body just sitting there, was so difficult.  I put my hand on his casket and said...

"My little boy, I miss you so much and can't wait to see you again.  I promise to come back here and visit often.  I promise to keep this spot looking nice and bring you flowers.  I love you so much."

As Justin and I drove away, I was sobbing.  I kept looking back at his tiny casket sitting there and saying out loud...

"Please be careful with him.  Please lay him down in the ground carefully.  Please be gentle."

I wanted them to be as careful with his body as possible.  I knew they would, but my mommy heart was breaking and I wanted them to be gentle.  As we pulled away and he was no longer in sight, my heart broke into a million pieces.  He was officially laid to rest.

Since Luke's burial, we have gone back many times to visit him.  I'm looking forward to the warm weather when the snow around him melts away and I can sit on the grass without freezing!  I look forward to the trees being bloomed out and being able to sit under the big tree he's buried under and talk to him.  Even though I know he's not there, his body is and it brings me some comfort to be there close to his physical body.  I look forward to the day where I can see him again and there is no longer a need for cemeteries.  No need for headstones.  Until that day comes, I'll continue visiting him and thanking the Lord for his precious, short, meaningful, effective life.  I love you so much, my boy.