Luke goes to the Crew game, Lehner's Pumpkin Patch & the Zoo!

When we first found out about Luke's diagnosis, we were encouraged to come up with things we wanted to do with him and to document them.  Kind of like a "baby bucket list".  So we started to think about things we would've liked to do with him.  One of those things was to take him to a Columbus Crew soccer game.  Justin and I had season tickets this year, so we got to enjoy many home games.  On October 26, we took Luke to see them play!

The next outing we took our little boy to was the pumpkin patch!  It's always something we really like to do in the Fall, so we knew this was a place to visit with him.  We will be sad come next Fall when we can't take him, but at least we know he was there with us this year.

The next outing we took him on was to the Columbus Zoo!  We went on a Friday afternoon when it was about 45 degrees!  It was a nice time to go because there was hardly anyone there.  We leisurely walked around looking at the various animals and chatting about how fun it would've been to bring him here when he was older.  They are bittersweet moments, but glad we could do it.

We are going to soak up each and every day we have with our boy.  Our time with him seems to be going to fast.  I hope he's enjoying each day with us!  I know we have loved it and will never forget the fun things are doing together!

Auntie Beth Runs for Lucas

October 19, 2014 was the date for the Columbus Marathon benefiting Children's Hospital and sponsored by Nationwide Insurance.  My sister Beth decided that she wanted to run in the race.  She has run in several half marathons, but this would be her first full marathon ~ 26.2 miles all in the name of "fun".  Not what I'd consider fun, but hey, she loves it and we love supporting her!

A few days before the race, Beth had brought us a meal along with a card.  We opened the card and read what she wrote, and it literally made me burst out in tears.  Good tears.  My sister was running the race for Luke, in honor of him and all other babies who lost their lives due to Potters Syndrome.  This is the card...

It was the sweetest, most thoughtful thing she could've done.  She even ordered a teal running shirt to wear in the race.  Teal is the official color of Potters Syndrome.  It was so touching.  She also wrote Luke's name along with a Bible verse on the bib that was on the front of her shirt.  Here's the bib...

Justin and I couldn't be there at the race due to our trip to New York, so my mom sent us a picture of Beth after the race with her medal.  She did it.  She finished!

Beth, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for running for our boy.  I know how hard it was both physically and emotionally.  We love you and your little nephew loves you too!

Luke and New York

In late October, we were able to go to New Jersey/New York for Oticon Medical's advocacy leadership conference.  Oticon is the maker of the hearing aid Justin wears.  We've been graciously invited to attend the conference the past few years and always have a great time learning more about the company, new products, their vision, etc.

When Luke was diagnosed, we made a pact to do things and go places that we would've taken Luke to.  New York was one of those places.  Eventually we wanted to take him and show him the city and all the exciting things it had to offer.  His trip came a little earlier than planned :)

He did great on the flight.  No crying, no tantrums.  Ha!  Kidding :)  I was a little nervous to fly being pregnant and all.  Would I get sick?  Would the nausea show it's ugly face?  I was fine and was so thankful!

Oticon took the whole group into NYC for dinner and a show.  At first we didn't know what we would be doing; it was a secret.  We ended up going to dinner at a really neat place called The Library at the Public.  The food was fantastic!  When we pulled up to the restaurant, we noticed there was a theatre across the street and Blue Man Group was performing there.  Hmmm, could that be the show we're going to?!  It sure was!  After dinner, we all walked across the street to see Blue Man Group!  Neither Justin or I had ever seen the show, so we were very excited!  It did not disappoint.  It was so much fun!  It was very loud with a lot of drums, so I'm sure Luke could hear it :)  After the show, we took a picture outside the theatre.  We wanted to document us being there as a family of 3.  It was bittersweet knowing that we won't be able to walk the streets of New York with Luke, but he was there with us.  And I'm sure he liked it just as much as we do :)

MRI Results

On October 24, we had an appointment with my doctor to go over the results of the MRI we had.  We also were going to do another ultrasound to check on Luke; make sure he still had a heartbeat.  I'm always excited to see my little boy on the screen!

Justin was with me along with my Mom, and Justin's parents.  As we waited for the doctor to come in,  I was pretty anxious.  I was afraid to hear any bad news.  I was still holding onto hope that they were wrong and he would be ok.

Doctor Melillo came in, and quickly began to tell us the news.  He didn't waste time, which I was grateful for.  Don't leave us hanging!  He began with...

"Unfortunately, it's what we thought.  No kidneys or bladder were found."

The tears began to flow.  There it was, the news were we dreading.  The finality of it was overwhelming.  I didn't realize just how much we were hoping he'd have a chance of survival.  Until that moment.  Now we know for sure that his chances of surviving past birth are basically 0%.  It was a huge blow.  It felt like we were finding out the bad news all over again, for the first time.  It made me so sad to now know his fate.

After we discussed the results further, doctor M said...

"Alright, now let's take a look at this little guy."

The best part of the appointment.  He squirts that oh so lovely blue gel on me and gets going.  His heartbeat pops right up.  It's always the first thing I look for!  So glad to still see it!  He takes measurements of Luke's body to see how he's growing.  He's right on track!  He was just shy of 15oz.  He was more active than normal during this scan than previous ones we had.  I was so thankful for that.  He's so squished in there, he hasn't been very active on screen.  This time you could see him squirming around some.  Thank you, Lord :)  Another little gift.

We wrapped up the appointment and scheduled the next one for two weeks out.  So, we wait til' then. The rest of the day, and the ones to follow, were very difficult.  We had to really come to grips with the fact that we will face losing him.  It breaks our hearts.  My heart has never hurt this bad before.  Yet, through the pain and through the heartache, God has proven Himself faithful over and over again.  He's with us, He's holding our hands, and He's grieving with us.

I'm thankful for another few weeks with my boy.  We still have him, living moment by moment.