Boy or Girl?!

This day was huge.  Not huge as in "ginormous", but huge as in "I can't believe we will find out our baby's gender" huge.  What would be an exciting yet typical ultrasound for the normal couple who had a couple kids, who didn't struggle with infertility for the past 5 years, who got pregnant at the drop of the hat, wasn't a typical ultrasound for Justin and I.  I could hardly sleep the night before.  My mind was racing and my stomach was flip-flopping each time I thought about it.  Heck, I even had one of the biggest throw-ups on record in the Starbucks bathroom before hand.  So much for that iced coffee getting baby active and moving!  The appointment was at 11am and we had our entourage of friends and family coming along.  To say we were excited would be the understatement of the century.

It's time.  We all walk into a dimly lit room with a huge flat screen TV so that everyone has a great view of what the tech is seeing on her screen.  I am laying on a super comfy bed-like table and Justin is sitting next to me, tenderly holding my hand as we await the news: boy or girl?!  The tech begins the scan, and it seems to be taking a LONG time to find those tiny parts.  A long time.  Like, 40 minutes long.  She then says something that made my heart skip a beat.

"Have you had an ultrasound yet?"

"Yes, we have.  At 8 and 10 weeks."

"Ok.  The reason I'm having a hard time finding the right parts is because the fluid around the baby is pretty low."

"What does that mean?"  {my heart is now beating out of my chest}

"Well, it could mean several things.  Your doctor would need to determine that."

"Ok."

At this point, I can't really focus and enjoy the ultrasound because I am overcome with fear at what this could mean.

Finally, the tech found those little parts she'd be trying to find: IT'S A BOY!  Justin and I were beyond thrilled.  We both were secretly hoping it was a boy.  But, in the midst of happy tears, my heart was pleading with the Lord, "God, please let everything be ok."

We all went to lunch at Panera afterwards, and talked about what life would be like with little Lucas Kent (Luke) in our lives.  But, I could hardly eat my lunch as I was really worried.  Everyone reassured me things would be just fine.  Would they be?

"I'm sure it's an easy fix!"  I wanted to believe them, but had a sickening feeling something was really wrong.  I called my OB right away and scheduled an appointment for 3 days later, Friday the 12th at 9:40am.  I felt better having made the appointment, and felt we could move on with our day.  So, we went to Carter's and dropped some cash on a bunch of adorable baby boy clothes that Luke would wear.  We talked and envisioned him in them.

September 9th, 2014 was the day that started this trial.  What we thought would be a day of celebrating and daydreaming of our little boy, was marked, for me, with fear, worry, concern, and prayer....that the Lord would protect and cover our son with His grace, protection, love.  I knew that whatever the cause of this lack of fluid around him couldn't be a good thing, but we knew God was in control and He was sovereign and we could trust Him no matter what.  Right?  That would be put to the test in 3 short days.